Cardano Futures Launching on Coinbase: Bullish for ADA or Sell-the-News Event? 

Alright, you degens, listen up! Coinbase is rolling out ADA futures, and the so-called experts" are whispering sweet nothings about "market implications. Puh-lease. I'm here to tell you, this isn't rocket science. We're talking about Cardano, folks. Volatility is its middle name.

So, here's the million-dollar question (and I'm expecting million-dollar answers): Is this futures launch going to be a rocket to the moon or a dump so hard it'll create a new crater on the charts? Don't just parrot the open interest and funding rates, give me some *real* insight. What's your gut telling you? Are you loading up on ADA, shorting it to oblivion, or just sitting back with your popcorn and watching the fireworks? Let's hear it. Show me you know more than these mainstream media clowns.